


Truth, Trust, and Timelords

by ORiley42



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: All Star Team Up, Angst, Established Relationship, Flash 1x18, Fluff, Happy end tho don't worry, M/M, these darn cuties, this is very cheesy be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 22:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4238952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ORiley42/pseuds/ORiley42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry and Cisco talk about their feelings and hug it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth, Trust, and Timelords

**Author's Note:**

  * For [greenglowsgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenglowsgold/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Reasonable Doubt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796951) by [greenglowsgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenglowsgold/pseuds/greenglowsgold). 



> So, the fantastic work that inspired this story had a note at the end saying it was originally intended to have a third chapter in which Barry and Cisco cuddle after 'fessing up.  
> I needed that like I needed air, so I decided to write it myself!  
> I pretty much picked up a little after they left off, with Barry thinking about the team's little truth-revealing session and how it's put a bit of a strain on his and Cisco's relationship...

Barry couldn’t believe that only a few hours ago Cisco had burst into his lab with Caitlyn, already breaking into song as he asked, “Is everyone ready for some kaaaareooookeee!” For a moment, before the two caught onto Joe and Barry’s stony expressions and their own faces fell, Barry entertained the wild thought that he could just get up and leave. He could go out with his boyfriend, get not-drunk, sing not-so-badly in front of a room full of total strangers, and enjoy some quality time with his favorite people in the world.

            In short, for a moment he dreamed of a happy, normal life. And with the high speeds at which he lived his _real_ life, a mere moment could stretch into a lonely eternity.

            He was brought back from his white-picket fantasy to normal time by Caitlyn’s resigned remark, “We are _not_ going to karaoke, are we?” prompting Barry to launch into the full explanation of his recent behavior - and the painful truth that went along with it.

            He’d seen something stir in Cisco’s expression as soon as he revealed the info he’d collected on Dr. Wells, and when Cisco didn’t immediately raise a defense against the ‘Reverse Flash’ accusations, Barry knew something was wrong. But he didn’t ask what, figuring his boyfriend would reveal what was on his mind in due time.

            “I’ve been having these dreams…” Cisco had begun, his words coming slow and almost apologetic as he glanced over at Caitlyn, who was clearly annoyed and as-yet totally unconvinced,“Sometimes at night, but sometimes during the day…but they don’t really feel like dreams, they feel real.”

            “What happens in the dreams?” Barry had asked, doing his best to hide his fear, and quash the unfair spark of anger in his chest shouting, “Why didn’t he tell me?” and “So _that’s_ why he was watching 70s _Doctor Who_ serials in the kitchen at three in the morning.”

            “Dr. Wells is the Reverse Flash…and he kills me,” Cisco finally admitted, staring hard at the ground and studiously avoiding Barry’s shocked gaze. Barry felt like his heart had just dropped out of his chest, or maybe that the floor has disappeared under his feet – his head was spinning too much to decide which clichéd description of his current state of distress to use in his internal monologue.

            It had been a long and painful evening as they worked through the research they’d collected and everyone slowly crawled their way onto the same page. By the time Joe fulfilled his fatherly role by telling his band of misfit young adults to go home and get some sleep, everyone in the room had had their heart broken in one way or the other.

            Exactly how much Cisco’s heart had been broken was the question on Barry’s mind that night as he stared at the outline of his boyfriend’s hunched back, lit by the moonlight slipping through their bedroom window. Barry had speculated hopefully that Cisco’s willingness to let Barry come home with him to his apartment, as he had for every night in recent memory, was a good sign. However, in the still air of the apartment, Barry could tell that although Cisco’s breathing was deep and even, he was only pretending to be asleep. _Not_ a good sign, Barry conceded miserably.

            They’d gone home in a silence that was beyond uncomfortable, but then, any silence with Cisco involved wasn’t a good one. In all the time Barry had known him, he thought this must be the longest Cisco had been quiet, including when he was asleep. (Cisco had that terrible affliction, common among geniuses, of being struck with brilliant ideas at the oddest hours. Many a peaceful night’s sleep had been interrupted by: “Hey, _hey,_ Barry, what do you think would happen –” “No, Cisco, just no.” “But-” “Unless you’ve figured out how I can get my eight hours sleep in eight minutes, _I don’t wanna hear it_ … I love you. But _please_ go to sleep.”)

            That night, they’d gone about their usual evening routine, minus the friendly banter and casual invasions of space that had become par for the course. They moved around each other like planets in orbit – in sync and infinitely aware of each other, but never actually touching. Cisco continued to avoid Barry’s eyes, and changed into his (truly adorable) ice cream cone patterned pajamas in the closet, studiously keeping away from Barry. Barry felt worse than when that bee venom had stopped his heart, and almost as bad as when Cisco’s heart had stopped from the same cause.

            Barry slowly let his fingers creep across Cisco’s _Star Wars_ sheets towards his unfriendly profile, but stopped just short of the soft, dark hair sweeping across the pillow next to him. God, those ridiculous sheets. Barry had laughed so hard when he saw them that Cisco had threatened in all seriousness to kick him out on “his unappreciative ass,” and Barry had barely been able to catch his breath long enough to explain that, “It’s just that they’re, like, this ultimate nerd stereotype and…actually it’s just another reason I love you so much.” That had had Cisco smiling again in no time.

            Barry doubted a simple “I love you,” would be enough to fix the damage he’d done this time. He still hadn’t decided if, or how, he should begin to try and apologize, when Cisco spoke up abruptly, breaking the silence.

            “Barry…just…tell me that you didn’t think I was working with Wells.”

            Barry lay there in silence, his guilt a physical presence between them.

            “Barry, please, just say that you didn’t actually think that I was working with the Reverse Flash, that I was helping the man who _killed_ your _mother_ …”

            “Cisco, I…” Barry stuttered, all his speed useless as he fumbled through meaningless words to try and find a way to express the explosive multitudes of relief and regret he’d been struggling with that entire evening.

            Cisco flipped abruptly over in bed to face Barry, who could feel Cisco’s anger flowing off of him in waves. “Really? _Really_? You honest to God thought that I might be helping out a friggin’ supervillain…”

            “Joe told me I couldn’t trust anybody,” Barry burst out desperately, trying vainly to explain, “and I was confused, I mean for God’s sake, Wells has saved my life so many times…And I thought he might have fooled you too, that maybe you were still the good person I thought you were, that you didn’t know, but that you still couldn’t –”

            “Be trusted? You couldn’t trust me, but you could _sleep_ with me? Why the hell didn’t you just break up with me if you thought I was on the board of Evil Incorporated?”

            “Dammit Cisco, it didn’t matter to me if you were working with Wells, or the devil, or Bugs freakin’ Bunny! I don’t know, I didn’t _care_ , I just knew that I loved you and I wasn’t going to leave you, no matter what. Just…no matter what, ok?”

            Cisco froze, his expression unreadable. Barry squeezed his eyes shut, unable to deal with the feeling that his world was somehow on the edge of imploding even more completely than it already had. Before he could stop himself, more words were spilling unbidden from his lips, like all the crushing pressure that had been building in his chest from lying to Cisco was trying to force its way out through his throat, and every feeling he’d had and word he’d wanted to say were all vying to be free.

            With his eyes still closed tight as if that could block out his painful reality, Barry stumbled blindly forward with his words, “and I was prepared to fight for you, or fight with you, whatever it took to…to keep you…well, to keep you safe but also to just keep you. Cisco I….I was totally confused about a lot of things, but I’ve never been confused about how I feel about you.”

            After a few heart-stopping beats of agonizing silence, Barry’s eyes flew open at the incredibly unlikely sound of Cisco snorting a laugh. As Barry stared at him incredulously, he saw his boyfriend smash his face into his pillow to stifle further giggles.

            “I’m sorry, Barry…but ‘never confused about how you feel about me?’ Do you, do you _remember_ when you first kissed me, in, like, the spur of the moment after whatever crazy crap we were dealing with almost-but-didn’t-kill you? I’m pretty sure you were more confused than _I_ was, and I thought I was having some sort of mental break!”

            Barry broke into almost delirious laughter, as Cisco chuckled, “seriously dude, and then I was thinking that _you_ were the one having a mental break, and then you freaking _ran away_!”

            Barry covered his face with his hands, embarrassment burning his cheeks at the memory even as he felt so light with relief he thought he could’ve floated away.

            “But then, _then_ you came back with actual _roses_ , and asked me if I liked Italian! I mean, that’s the oldest line in the book!”’      

            “And then,” Barry picked up the story from behind his slightly shaking fingers, “you stared at me and just told me, stone-cold, that you hate Italian.”

            “I do, it’s terrible!”

            “I thought you hated _me_! I wanted to go lock myself in the pipeline and never come out!”

            “Barry…” As Cisco trailed off, Barry felt gentle fingers tug his hands off of his face. “I could never hate you. Not even when you’re being a huge idiot like now. You’re just too darn cute.” Barry’s head fell back as he laughed deeply, clutching a little too tightly at Cisco’s hand.

            “And, as apologies go…”

            “I am _so_ sorry, SO sorry…” Barry pressed Cisco’s hand to his mouth, kissing it gently as the thought “you almost lost this _forever_ ” knocked frantically about in his mind.

            “Well…” Cisco sighed deeply. “To quote a great Timelord, ‘Did you really think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?’” Cisco’s smile was tinged with sadness, but to Barry it still felt like the sunrise, lifting a horrible burden from his heart.

            “Whoa, you got all the way up to Series Eight?” Barry grinned as they fell back into their usual rhythm of pop culture banter. “I thought your _Doctor Who_ rewatch was still back in the seventies?”

          “Hey, I had a lot of nightmares! And I actually skipped ahead because I was so excited to see Peter Capaldi.”

            For a moment, as Barry’s heart finally slowed to a normal pace (well, normal for him) he felt that everything was right in the world – maybe not the whole world, but his world, in this room.

            “So…” Barry tugged a little on Cisco’s hand, “Do you forgive me enough that you’ll come over here and stop me from freezing to death in these absurdly thin sheets?”

            Even in the dim light afforded by the moon, Barry could make out Cisco doing his damnedest to bite back a goofy grin, the kind guaranteed to produce a similarly silly smile on Barry.

            “Yeah, fine, but _just_ so you don’t die,” Cisco grumped with an exaggerated sigh, completely belied by how quickly he scooted over into Barry’s arms. “It’d be dumb if you died, so, you know…don’t.” Even muffled against his collarbone as they were, Barry could tell Cisco’s words cracked a little towards the end.

            “Well, I promise not to die if you don’t,” Barry whispered into Cisco’s hair.

            “I’ll take that deal.”

            Barry felt Cisco’s mouth turn up in a small smile against his skin, and he thought, yeah, maybe he’d been working for his arch-nemesis the entire friggin’ time he’d been the Flash, and yeah, that would probably end really badly, but right now – right now he was ok. In this moment, he was happy, and in the life of a speedster, a moment can last a lifetime.


End file.
